We need to go deeper

'I have no one. My ears have each other and my nostrils have each other and my eyes have each other but my head has no one.'

This was said by my little sister, 7 years old, and of course she didn't mean anything too deep with it. But I wrote it down because it sure as hell described how I feel. My head has no one.

My other sister is beginning to learn English, word by word. She saw some sentence with the word 'I' in it and she, having learned some phrases on some stickers or cards or t-shirts or something like that, commented, 'I don't know what 'I' means when there isn't 'love' after it.' This, too, was something I considered deeper than it was meant. I guess I have no idea of who I am outside of the things and people that I love, and thus I'd find more of me if I had someone to love.

Going through an existential crisis. I feel like I want to feel something. I want to want something. I want to get excited and become alive. But try as I might, I fail in my attempts to pursue any kind of goal, and also, I fail to set goals as I lack a direction.

.

Happy Never-Gonna-Be-A-Mother's Day To Me!!

My birthday is in January, my name day is in April. Ain't it brilliant to know that I will never be celebrated in May!

Oh let's get real. It's fucking depressing. But at least my hair looks nice today because my lil' sister did it. Yay.

I Will

Will Schuester with a fedora. 
I VOLUNTEER


That, my dear followers, is the current state of my social/sexual life.

If I lived in a bigger city and there would be a territorial magazine or something, I could go all Carrie Bradshaw and write my own column. It'd be called "No sex and the city".

People would actually love to read it, because it'd be closer to their real lives than the Carrie one.


Yeah, but seriously talking, dudes: Will Schuester with a fedora. And all his vests. I'm thinking developing OCD (on my way anyway) and bambi eyes (with these Furby eyes this is a very, very distant dream) just to get to him. I mean, it's not like I didn't realize he was fictional. He just happens to be the perfect incarnation of one of my favourite types of men.


Also, I currently am not having any love interest toward any person in this town. (Not that I had had more than slight ones before, though.) This simultaneously feels freeing and depressing.


Now I'm off to watch some more Glee. Will Schuester could show me some New Directions anytime, if you know what I mean...